Okay, so I’m finally changing my “About” page because I finally do know what I’m doing with a blog after so long and I just kept putting off changing this because some of the comments below are going to address what was here and not what I’m gonna write now, and that’s gonna make me twitch. (Just imagine me twitching now). I still kinda have vague plans about turning this into something productive. ^_^ They’re still there… waiting… Way back in the nether regions of my mind, these ideas lurk about, and I hope to coax them into the light. I’m not sure what kind of productive since I’m rotten at keeping any kind of schedule… but yeah… And honestly, to me a blog is more of a personal thing than a business thing, but who knows? For now, I’ll just keep those on the back burner.
So, anyway, this is the “about me” section. Mostly this blog is a personal blog. I write what comes to mind and post pictures I find on the internet to entertain y’all. I answer the daily prompt here at WordPress whenever I find that it… prompts me. The reason I started a blog in the first place is that I used to write short stories and poems — poems will sneak into my blog now and again, as will small pieces of fiction. Then I went to college to “improve” my fictional writing and that flat out killed my muse. Killed her dead. Being told over and over again that your writing is “good” but no one will publish it (read: snotty university publications won’t publish it) tends to kill the muse. The problem is, I never wrote for publication. I wrote for me. Even my professors knew that, but the programs were all about publication. “What’s the point in writing,” they asked, “If you’re not going to publish it?” Not every painter puts paint to canvas in order sell their painting. Not every sculptor sculpts to pander to the crowd. They have a vision and they coax it out of their medium. I had stories that wanted to be told. I wrote them. I wrote them as they wanted to be told, not as “publishers” would have wanted them to be told. But the Creative Writing program wasn’t about improving your writing, it was about what’s “in” nowadays, what could be sold. So, while my stories were “good” they weren’t “publishable” because they didn’t parrot everything else that was being published at the time. Seriously, that’s what I was told. “People don’t write in this style anymore. Write it this way.” Blah. Anyway, I dropped out of that program and became a Literature major, and my muse disappeared. I hold out hope that my muse is still alive but hiding way back in the shadows of my psyche, but after three years, I’ve only had a tickle of an inkling of her presence.
The urge to write, however, is as strong as ever, so I started to blog. Because writing, dear readers, is what keeps me sane. I have a lot of time on my hands, and not by choice. These past few years have brought to me a plethora of chronic illnesses that I haven’t had the ability to overcome. On the outside, I look strong, young, and fairly healthy, but my body is slowly but surely breaking apart. Take yesterday for example. I took a shower in the morning, got dressed, took the dogs outside for their morning constitutional, and all of that wiped me out for most of the day. Today, I did much the same thing, and I’m not as bad off. I can probably even do the dishes and a couple of loads of laundry. It’s a day to day thing. But I will never, ever, be able to hold down a job again. That’s a hard realization that I’ve recently come to face. So, to keep from going stir crazy… I need to write. Since my muse is gone… I blog. My only hope is that you, dear reader, benefit from my urge to write if only that it makes you smile once in a while. I’m not here to change the world. My biggest fear is that I’m writing to an empty room. Because that would be awful. That’s why I always like to see likes, and I’m ecstatic whenever there’s comments. Ecstatic. Literally. Because that means I’m connecting with people, and while I’m and introvert at heart, I still like to connect with people.