First, a video a friend of mine shared with me about what it might be like if all of our spam mail was true. It’s not for everyone, but Cyanide and Happiness rarely is. I get penis enlargement emails all of the time (I don’t know why) and I’d shudder to think what would happen if I suddenly grew a penis… My boobs are big enough, thanks much. I get those all of the time too. But what if those Nigerian Princes did want to put money in our accounts? And what if that London person really did leave us a bunch of money? and there was a guaranteed weight loss pill? or a way to make tons of money working from home? Wouldn’t that be great? I’d totally love to work from home and make legit money, not the scraps they throw at plebeians like me who, for whatever reason can’t get out into the brick and mortar workforce. But I digress. Here’s the vid:
So anyway, wishes are tricky business. I was just commenting on a friend’s blog in her answer to this prompt, for years and years whenever someone asked me what I wanted (from the store or whatever) I’d say with a straight face, “A million dollars, world peace, a good man…” Now, some people played along and would say, “I’ll see what I can do.” or “Those aren’t on the list.” or whatever. Others would just stare at me like I’d grown a third head. But I thought they were reasonable requests. Ha! So those were basically my three wishes. Every time. I guess if a genie came along, I’d have to ask for the same, with some caveats of course (because I know how genies work). You’ve gotta be careful how you word your wishes.
See, I have a good man now. So strike one off the list. And I didn’t even have to hurt anyone to get him. He just kinda fell into my lap. I wasn’t looking one day and Bam! there he was. A good man. So someone must have been listening. And we’re happy together. Who could ask for anything more? I’m good with that. (Knock on wood – Back off, evil spirits. I like my guy and want to keep him around).
Moving on, I think that a million dollars and world peace probably aren’t going to be as easy to come by. Though I might consider playing the lottery. After all, that money is sitting there just waiting for someone to come pick it up. May as well be me, right? Can’t win if you don’t play. Of course, that wouldn’t be a wish granted, would it? Unless I wished to win the lottery. I might wish for a winning lottery ticket — the big win of course, not a $2 winning ticket (you’ve got to be specific about these things). And a ticket for my state. What good would a New Jersey ticket do me? Stupid genie. A legitimate winning lottery ticket that will net me at least a million dollars after taxes. A million dollars is all I need. No need to get greedy. So what if the payout right now is $40M? I don’t need $40M. Let some other people win with me. I’ll be happy with $1M net. That would pay off all of our debts and set us up for a few years at least.
World peace, now that’s something in my heart I know will never happen. It’s nice to wish for but with seven billion people on the planet, it just will never be. Hell, we can hardly get five people in one room without having a difference of opinion. It doesn’t always lead to conflict, but there it is. Five people cannot always agree on everything, how can seven billion? It will never be so. It’s even a well known trope in literature and movies. Though it would be nice to have world peace, even for a couple days, I know it’s too much to expect. We are, basically, animals at heart. We like to think ourselves above our animal brethren, but we’re not. We eat, drink, sleep, and mate just like every other animal on the planet. The only difference is that we have a slightly higher opinion of ourselves. We build great monuments to us and write books. But when it comes down to it, we fall back to what every other animal does when push comes to shove… we lash out, violently. And we keep lashing out until someone either runs away or dies. That’s just the way it is. We may not lash out with tooth and claw (not always) but don’t kid yourselves, even when lashing out with words on the computer screen, inevitably someone gets hurt. So yeah, I don’t think my third wish will ever come true. Not world peace.
But I will settle for local peace, I have my own world, my own garden to tend, and this small town that the hubs and I have moved to. And I’ll take a peaceful life for the rest of my days. I’ll take that. If I can’t have world peace, I’d like to have an uneventful — and long — retirement. Don’t go granting me a peaceful retirement then kill me off in two days. I’m hip to your ways, genie. On the other side of that coin, I don’t want to live forever either. So, genie, find that sweet spot where I’ve lived out my days in happy retirement but I haven’t lived so long that I wonder why I even bother getting up in the mornings. Being a realist, I’m sure I’ll live as long as I need to, and no longer. ^_^ The thing that I’m wishing for is for the rest of my life to be, personally, as conflict free as possible. I don’t think that’s too much to as (plus that million dollars. Don’t forget that.)