So the prompt asks this question specifically: Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?
Let’s see… So, the last time I answered this prompt was in March of 2014, and we were contemplating leaving New Mexico for the Pacific Northwest and we chose to do so. We journeyed to Washington and set ourselves up here in a small town. We like it here. This is where we want to stay. We love our house, and the neighbors seem friendly so far. 🙂 If we leave here, it won’t be by choice. We were also contemplating opening up a store… That didn’t happen as much… Since we bought our little two acres, I’m pretty sure the store thing isn’t going to happen. Oh well, too bad, so sad, life goes on. I’ll sell what little inventory I have and go about my merry way. The idea of running a store was a good one, and I would have had a lot of fun with it. I was pretty attached to it, but it could have only happened under certain circumstances, and we couldn’t meet those circumstances. Things happen. Plans change. That’s life. It’s also why I don’t make concrete plans.
The last place we contemplated leaving was Seattle, which we obviously did, so that answers that question. We moved a little West of Seattle to a small bedroom community and I’m liking the peace and quiet. Like last time, I have vague plans about the future. This time my plans include getting goats, ducks, chickens, etc… I also want to plant trees and stuff like that. Seriously, this grass has to go. We have 2.5 acres! I want to do stuff with that acreage! Now, gardening isn’t my thing, but I still have plans. My husband thinks that these plans will take place some time in the distant future, like five years from now. I keep telling him that he’s thinking too far ahead. I don’t make plans that far. Duh. I don’t want my plans to happen tomorrow (okay I do — but I’m still realistic enough to know they won’t), but I sure ain’t waiting no five years. Do you know what can happen in five years??? Hell’s bells, five years ago, I was in college and still relatively healthy. Five-ish years ago, I was living in a motor home and planning on workamping my way through life. I had a plan! Four years ago, I’d planned on moving to Turkey and teaching English (okay, that was kind of a vague plan). Three years ago, I met my husband and everything changed. Five years. Pah!
We don’t have beginnings and endings as the prompt suggests. We simply walk through life in a continuous path. Sometimes we walk through other people’s paths and sometimes people walk with us for a while. Sometimes we stop walking and settle in one place. But the world still moves around us. People don’t cease to exist (“end”) because our paths no longer cross with theirs. Nor do they pop into existence (“begin”) when we start to walk along side of them. My life isn’t a mansion full of doors where one must be shut before another can be opened least the light spill out (a la The Others). The people and places in my past are free to roam about and grow as they will. My past can catch up with me at any moment — though I hope some parts of it never will. I don’t “end” things… I simply keep moving. Sometimes people move with me, sometimes they don’t. I know that once I leave a place that it is forever changed and that if I return it will be different. Hell, walking out of my living room this morning and returning in the evening I will find a subtly changed living room. A little more dust, maybe colder, maybe one of the pets will move the pillows on the couch. How can I expect a city of hundred to thousands to millions of people to remain the same?
So my philosophy is this: Nothing ends… nothing begins, we just fool ourselves into thinking that this is the way. The way I see the world is this, everything is in a constant state of change, and we can either accept that it’s so, ignore it, or rage against it. All I know is, I’ll keep moving forward because that’s all I need to do to keep up with the flow.