daily prompt / health stuff

Close encounter of the “nope” kind

people outside

Not gonna happen

So the daily prompt asks us:  Who was the first person you encountered today? Write about him or her.

Pardon me while I giggle uncontrollably. Tee hee… tee hee.

See, since my thyroid and my lungs decided to break down a couple of years back, it’s been difficult for me to get out and about without all kinds of weird body reactions that I’m still trying to wrap my head around.  Now, I’ve had asthma for a long time — since the mid 1990’s, so a little huffing, puffing, and wheezing isn’t gonna stop me from walking about. But the wheezing, coughing, dizziness, and flat out can’t breathe even with an inhaler on even the shortest of walks… that makes walking kinda tough. And, since I’m overweight to begin with, I get all kinds of judgmental comments and stares.  Normally, I’m a “screw you and your judgement” kind of person, but it’s difficult to say all that when I’m gasping for breath. And it brings me down (just a little because really, fuck them) when people are glaring at me while I’m gasping for air instead of offering to help or asking me if I’m okay. Assholes.

chronic-pain

yeah…

But it’s not just the judgmental idiots out there that keep me from going out and about. It’s the hassle. Everything’s so much effort, and I honestly hate the effort it takes to do… anything! I move a lot slower than I used to. A lot slower. And I have to use a shopping cart (buggy, whatever you call them) for a walker whenever I go shopping. I’m also hyper aware of the fact that I’m slower than most people. I’m also super aware of the impatient people who get stuck behind me because I can’t really speed it up for them. I mean, even though I’m a “screw you and the horse you rode in on” type of person, I honestly don’t go out of my way to inconvenience people.  I usually try to be polite because I really do hate rudeness. But this body will only go so fast, and that’s a fact. But people can’t see the mechanics underneath that keep this body at a slow crawl, they only see me inching along when they’re in a hurry. So, again people get impatient and they make comments. I don’t apologize for being slow. It’s not anything I’ve done to be this way. So they can take a long walk off a short pier for all I care.  But it is tiring to put up with and listen to whenever I go out to the stores.

breathing is good

Walking, walking is good too.

And honestly, even though I know that exercise is good for me, it hurts to move sometimes. And, again, it’s a lot of effort to do anything. Plus this time of year the valley is full of smoke from people burning their yard debris and from wood burning stoves and fireplaces. That’s something we did not take into consideration when we bought this house. It’s in a valley. Ha! All of the smoke from all of the fires from everywhere around here gets trapped right here. Air quality in the winter sucks rocks. Whenever I go outside, I cough and wheeze up a storm. I look out of my window right now and it looks nice and pristine, but I know that if I go outside I’m going to start coughing and wheezing because it happened this morning when I took the dogs out.  There’s a burn ban in the next county over, which means that the air quality is so bad no one can burn anything unless it’s their only source of heat. There isn’t one here in this county just yet, and the neighbors across the way have been burning their yard debris with a vengeance these past few weekends. I myself have a big ol’ pile of blackberry brambles just begging to be burned, but now I’m trying to think of alternatives to burning them because I’m aware that the smoke will just sit around in the valley waiting to be breathed in by me and other asthma sufferers.

Faendal

Let’s go kill some dragons

So why, dear reader, am I telling all of y’all all of this? Because I’ve pretty much become a recluse.  Seriously, I’m two steps away from being agoraphobic… I only leave the house if I absolutely have to, and then only for a moment. Just thinking about going somewhere makes me twitch. My hubby, bless his heart, does all of my shopping etc… The only people I “encounter” are the hubs or my tenant.  And as of this writing, I haven’t encountered either of them (okay the hubs wandered out mid-post, but that doesn’t count). But worry not, I’ve gone through this cycle before and have broken out of it. I think it’s a manifestation of my bipolar somehow. We’ve got people coming over to the house over the next few days for various reasons. But other than the people who come to our house, I’m not going to “encounter” anyone other than the two mentioned above.  Unless you count virtual people. Then there’s a whole world of people for me to encounter. Tamriel awaits!

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4 thoughts on “Close encounter of the “nope” kind

  1. I’m there with you. If it were not for photography, I probably wouldn’t go most places, but photography goads me into doing things I’d rather not do. The not breathing thing really sucks and when it gets very cold, I really can’t go out. The icy air just drops me in my tracks, but the rest of the year, if I take it slow and don’t get overly ambitious, I have a solid hour in me. Usually. On flat ground 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like your attitude! There are increasing numbers of ‘folks like us’ (aside from the asthma, your story is eerily like mine – mine is due to degenerative bone disease and arthritis though – not breathing issues per se, but the weight gain and frustration with dweebs who don’t have a clue and are eager to quiz me on ‘wow, you don’t LOOK SICK” commentary are right on the money. I really enjoyed reading this post, and am following your blog so I will be reading in future too. Great stuff! 🙂

    Like

    • I have degenerative disc disease in my back and arthritis too, so I feel your pain… the not breathing thing is just a new and wonderful way for my body to wage its war against me. ^_^

      Like

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