In response to today’s daily prompt and because I ran across it in my daily online wanderings, I bring you this highly subjective list of 50 things a geek (and by a geek, I’m thinking they mean every geek) should know. The post I found this list on claimed that the makers of the list said it should separate the “real geeks” from the “nerd chics”. Because, you know, everyone’s clamoring for the title of “real” geek. Seriously, anyone who calls themselves a “real” anything while everyone else is just a “poser” can just bite me. But I thought it might be interesting to see what “real” geeks know. So here goes…
50 Things a Geek Should Know
(according to whomever wrote this list — which wasn’t me)
Know the difference between an AT-AT and AT-ST — I have no idea. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with Star Wars.
Know how many Stargates are on Earth — According to the movie… 1. I never watched the series.
Know how to give the Vulcan “Live long and Prosper” hand sign. — Are there people who can’t do this?
Know what word the “Knights who say Ni” can’t stand. – Well you won’t get very far in life not saying the word “it.”
Know the names of all thirteen actors who have played Doctor Who. — Bite Me. I can barely remember my kids’ names, let alone actors I’ve never met.
Know why May 4th is a religious holiday. – May the forth be with you too.
Know the answer to the “Ultimate question of life, the universe and everything”. — What was the question again? The answer, however, is 42. I have my towel.
Know the names of the three main NERV pilots from Neon Genesis Evangelion. — Again. Bite me. I have, however, watched the series and the OVA’s.
Know where Mulder considers the truth to be. — The opposite of whatever Sully thinks? I never watched the show.
Know why people should try “turning it off and on again” before they call the IT department. — It resets everything.
Know how to use Linux. — Screw Linux.
Know where your local Hackerspace is. — Whatevahs
Know how to build a BTC mining rig. — Bitcoins are for losers.
Know how to hide files inside a Jpeg file. — Why would you want to do that? I’ve got nothing to hide. But a quick Google search and now I do.
Know who is the patron saint of computers. — Seems subjective to me.
Know the paperclip PSU trick. — Nope
Know how to boot from a USB. — Oh, sweetie, I’ve known how to boot from an a: drive. Booting from a USB was just the next step in the evolutionary trail.
Know how to flash a GFX card’s BIOS. — Knowing about something doesn’t make one a geek. Learning how to do it and doing it correctly, that’s what’s what. I’ve been doing stuff like this for years. Not specifically “flashing” my graphics card, but reprogramming computer parts to work better? pshaw. Child’s play.
Know how to build and program a fighting robot. – Whatevah. I have no desire to do this.
Know how to Jailbreak an iPhone – Real geeks use Android. (stole the previous answer because it was the correct one)
Know the difference between Warcraft and Warhammer – They’re games. Games I don’t play. But I do know the difference.
Know who Alan Moore’s god is. Some snake god.
Know the name Superman gave to his fortress. – The Fortress of Solitude. Stupid name. Stupid fortress and stupid character.
Know in which city the world’s largest Comic Con is held. – Doesn’t matter. Dragon Con is the best con.
Know how to construct a Perfect Grade Bandai model kit. — Whateveh.
Know the Bene Gesserit’s Litany against Fear. — Bite me?
Know at least 5 phrases in Klingon. — No. Spanish was difficult enough.
Know that Han shot First. — A constructed dispute that has no bearing on anyone’s so-called “geekdom” or geekiness . If Lucas hadn’t changed the scene, there would be no debate. I saw the first movie in the theatre. His was the only shot.
Know the one ring to rule them all quote. — I know of it. So what? I never read the books, nor did I see the movies.
Know that Franklin Richards controls the Marvel Universe. — I thought that was Stan Lee.
Know how to do a barrel roll. —I’m guessing this has nothing to do with airplanes.
Know how to create a basic website using only notepad. —Did this for my wedding website.
Know how to spend a bitcoin — Bitcoins are for losers.
Know how to read 1337 5p34k at normal reading speed. — l337 5p34k 5ux
Know how to use a proxy server to stay anonymous. — I know how. I chose not to.
Know how to find a geocache. It’s not that difficult.
Know which “chan” /imageboard/ to visit — I also chose not to visit ‘chan’ /imageboards/ for obvious reasons.
Know how to play snake on YouTube — why?
Know about the “Eternal War” — There are so many…
Know what “There’s no place like 127.0.0.1” means — Ah, home, sweet home. I’d never heard the phrase, but I knew the address.
Know how to mine obsidian in Minecraft — I tried playing Minecraft a couple of times. I didn’t like it.
Know how to setup a LAN party — I understand how to do it. I just chose not to. I prefer single player games.
Know what LARP stands for. — Is that like WKRP in Cincinatti? No? I know what is stands for. I’ve been to Ren-Fairs and lived in The South.
Know how to survive Winter in Dwarf Fortress. — Nope. I’m assuming fire is needed.
Know how many quests you need to complete in World of Warcraft to become a Loremaster — Never played the game.
Know what you need to build the longest road in Settlers of Catan. — Never played the game.
Know how to solve a Rubik’s cube. — Take it apart and put it back together in the right order (that’s how I always did it).
Know how to make it through the classic D&D “Tomb of Horrors” — A good dungeon master?
Know which continent to aim for first in Risk. — Don’t make war against Russia. That’s all I know about Risk since I never played it.
Know the power of the Black Lotus Magic: The Gathering card. — My daughter might know this one. I don’t.
So there you have it. Less than half. Guess I’m not “geeky” enough for whomever wrote this list. Too bad. Ah, darn, and I wanted to be a “real” geek too. Not. Honestly, if the writers of this list hadn’t said the purpose was to weed out the “nerd chics” I probably wouldn’t be so pissy about it. It’s like building a fort in the back yard with a sign that says NO GURLZ ALOWD!!! Even though no girls have asked to be a part of their club. I happen to be female, and I happen to like things that are considered nerdy and/or geeky. Does that make me a geek and/or nerd? Who the fuck cares? I most certainly don’t give a rat’s ass what people call me. I like what I like and screw what other people want to claim as their own. So long as I’m not hurting anyone, I’ll keep on liking what I like.
Just for fun… a parody.