As some of y’all might know. I have (among other things) Fibromyalgia. It come with all kinds of wonderful symptoms that are not consistent from day to day, but vary… a lot. The mainstays are fatigue, brain fog, and a general malaise. But there are all kinds of fun things that my body throws at me every once in a while that, while I’m not positive are from the Fibromyalgia, I’m pretty sure have to be because I didn’t have these things before I developed it.
What’s bugging me now (and what ties in to today’s prompt – Nerve) is, not a rash, but what *feels* like a prickly heat rash. Now, I’ve had prickly heat before, having lived in The South for a little over a decade before moving to the deserts of New Mexico. My body, even before the Fibro, didn’t like the sun. It especially doesn’t like it now. Funny thing is, it’s not even hot right now — barely topping 50 degrees Fahrenheit most days, and I think we see the sun about two hours a day if we’re lucky. But here I am, with pins and needles all over my body. No rash. No sweating — okay, here’s a weird aside… my palms are sweating. My palms never sweat, but they are now. Weird, right? Anyway, there’s no rash, no sweating… it just feels like prickly heat. And let me tell y’all something, dear reader. It’s not a pleasant feeling. It itches like no one’s business. OMG! It itches so much!! I know from past experience that if I go to a doctor, they will just prescribe some kind of overpriced ointment that I can buy over the counter, which won’t work (I also know this from past experience) so I’m not gonna go there. Or they might give me an antihistamine, which I can’t take because of my bipolar. And even though I’ll tell them that I can’t take it, they’ll prescribe it anyway, because they’re the doctor, and they know my body better than I do. >_< Yeah. I’m so over that bullshit. They’ll also look me over and say, “I don’t see a rash.” Well, duh, that’s the whole point. It feels like I have a rash, but there isn’t one there. So here I suffer. Itchy. and grumpy.
The thing is, if I get too hot or too cold, I do get a very short-lived rash that feels just like what I’m experiencing right now. That rash generally disappears whenever my body returns to its normal temperature. I also tend to get a rash/hives if I stay out in the sun for too long. That was a whole lot of fun when I lived in Mississippi and New Mexico (not!). One of the allergy doctors I’ve seen over the past few years said it had something to do with the way my body processes Histamine. And that’s possible, I mean I do have this never-ending sinus infection that no medicine seems to be able to get rid of. Which I’ve had for as long as I can remember — most of my adult life. But this prickling sensation, it’s only been going on for the past decade or so. I’m chalking it up to the Fibromyalgia. Might as well, I’m almost 100% positive that’s what would happen if I went to the doctor. Either that (after a quick Google search) they’ll tell me it’s anxiety. But I’m gonna say it’s Fibromyalgia, because that’s as good of an explanation as any, right? ^_^
Fibromyalgia, after all, isn’t very well understood by doctors even today. Go to any three websites that explain what it is and you’ll find three different explanations — unless one lifted the explanation from the other. It’s a syndrome, meaning it’s set of symptoms that have a common “disease”, but there’s no way for the doctors to test for that disease. You can’t go to the doctor and get a blood test for Fibromyalgia. They can’t scan your brain or body and pinpoint it anywhere. Even the stupid pain-point test that they used to diagnose me (which HURT, by the way) is inconsistent. As another aside, my beautiful pets, whom I love dearly, have an unerring habit of stepping on those very tender spots whenever they come for a cuddle. It’s like they know… >_< Anyway, Fibromyalgia is diagnosed based on the overall symptoms. It’s the same with bipolar disorder. Both are very real, and both can be treated, but doctors don’t always understand the mysterious workings of either.
Whatever this stupid not-rash is, it doesn’t really matter what’s causing it. It itches, and it’s annoying. Which makes me cranky as all hell. My poor husband, since he’s still between contracts, that means he’s home all day sending out emails and dealing with recruiters. But that also means he has to put up with me bellyaching about my stupid body. ^_^ Experience tells me that this too will pass, but until it does, I’m gonna be grumpy about it…