…until I took an arrow in the knee.
That’s one of the things that random guards and mercenaries will say to your character in Skyrim. You’d think that an arrow in the knee wouldn’t stop a big, burly guy like that, but there it is. And it seems there was an epidemic of arrows in the knee because you hear this more than once. Of course, there’s a mod one can download that will stop people from saying random things to your character, so I don’t hear this as much, but yeah… I heard it a lot when I first started playing. It seems that I’ve been playing this game (according to my Facebook feed) for exactly one year now. I’ve gone from playing it on one console to a different (more stable) console to the computer and let me tell you, dear reader, that changing formats from a console to the computer was one of the most interesting things I’ve done this year.
So what’s that got to do with today’s prompt, Healthy? Not a damned thing.
It ties in a little because before I discovered the world that is Tamriel, I was sinking slowly into a state of ennui, and I didn’t like it. See, I have a lot of time on my hands, and not by choice. I’m not used to this not being able to do anything and it was driving me crazy, so I was desperately looking for something *anything* to do. And then I thought, I could play video games. But which ones? I mean, I haven’t played a video game since I was a teenager and they were mostly text and pixelated little blobs that one had to image were dragons. I mean, they looked like seahorses to me, as seen here in this handy reference image. I did like that game, oh so long ago, but once you beat the game, that was it. Game over. Done. I didn’t understand how my brothers and friends (of both genders thanks much) could play the games over and over again to “beat” their scores. Once I finished the game, I was done with it. I never wasted my quarters in the arcades after I beat a game either. I won. I’m done. I guess that’s why I never became a “gamer”. I enjoyed the games, but I didn’t have that drive to beat anything but the game itself. I’m just not competitive that way. And I’m not the completionist type that needs to find every little thing in a game — every treasure, every quest, every weapon. It’s just not the way my brain works.
But yeah. So I thought about it for awhile and decided that an “open world” game would probably be the best for me, and my choices at the time were Grand Theft Auto and Skyrim. I chose Skyrim. And it might not seem like a “healthy” thing to do, playing video games, but guess what? It saved my brain from going down into the depths of depression, so it was healthy for me.
So, one of the things I realized recently is that I have a really hard time playing an evil character. See, Skyrim gives a choice in nearly every quest — not all of them, well I guess all because you can simply not do the quest and that’s a choice — but you can send your character on the “good” path or the “evil” path and I’ve created at least half a dozen characters that were meant to be evil characters. They were supposed to create mayhem and destruction in their wake. I created them specifically to rob, pillage, and plunder their way through the villages and towns of Skyrim! The ground was supposed to tremble beneath their feet! They were meant to be assassins and thieves, maybe vampires or liches (you can’t be both). And… that never worked out. Like, ever. EVER! I thought it would be cathartic to just, you know, kill things virtually. And I totally do, but it’s always bad guys, and evil things. I’m never the bad guy killing, looting, and robbing my way into infamy. I can’t even create a dubious, shadowy, thief character. The one time I created a thief character, my character spent half her time time doing good deeds to make up for all of the thieving she was doing. Steal 500 septims worth of stuff from Windhelm? No problem. I’ll just solve this murder too while I’m at it and steal the junk from the murderer’s place. Win/win.
I want to be a bad guy dammit. >_<
But I guess it’s not meant to be. I’m just a good guy at heart. Ha! So that’s a healthy thing to know about myself. Right? But at least I get to kill the undead and dragons. Dragons that look like dragons and not seahorses.