So, a blogger I follow answered these questions yesterday, and her answers were funny and insightful (read them here). I enjoyed reading them. But even as I enjoyed her answers, I kept saying to myself, “Yeah, I’ve seen this question before… like, 100 times.” Maybe it’s because I answer a lot of lists. But I figured, Why not, I like answering questions, and there are quite a few that aren’t on every list out there. So here it is, 100 Questions Nobody Ever Asks. From me to you.
1. Do you sleep with the closet doors open or closed? Funny you should ask. Because when I was a kid, I had this horrible phobia of open closet doors. I never could explain it away but I absolutely couldn’t sleep with the closet doors open. Even a crack. Especially a crack. They had to be fully shut or I’d lie in bed, terrified of who or what was in there, just waiting for me to fall asleep. This phobia followed me right up into adulthood and well into my thirties. Then one day, it was gone. Gone like it never existed. Now I don’t even have doors on my closets. I hate closet doors and will remove them as soon as the house is ours. Probably from living in fear of them for so long. ^_^
2. Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? In a heartbeat. They’re there for me to use, and why would I leave a half-used bottle of product for them to throw away when I leave? I’ll toss those bad boys in my luggage without a second thought. Plus, they’re included in the price of the hotel, so I’ll even take the unused product, including soap and lotion. There’s a brand that smells like cinnamon that I love.
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out. I can’t stand the feeling of my feet being held down by sheets being tucked in. But I like my feet warm, so I’ll tuck the blankets under my feet in an effort to create an envelope of warmth around me. It works sometimes… most times. But my blankets often end up a tangled mess at the end of the night. ^_^
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign? It never occurred to me to even try. Oh sure, I’ve had friends with street signs on their walls, but it honestly never crossed my mind to get one of my very own.
5. Do you like to use Post-It ® Notes? I love Post-It® Notes. But to be fair and not infringe on trademark, I call them sticky notes. I use them for just about everything, especially when I was in college. There were about as many sticky notes as pages in some of my books.
6. Do you cut out coupons but never use them? All the time. And not because I’m lazy (as discussed later), but because I when I cut the coupons out, I think I might be getting a deal, but when I get to the store, it turns out that there’s something cheaper but just as good there.
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Neither if I can avoid it. But if I had to chose between the two, I’ll take the bees. At least you can outrun a swarm of bees (or jump in the water) but a bear runs faster than me, and can swim and climb a tree (not that i can climb a tree). But if I had my druthers, I’d avoid both.
8. Do you have freckles? Who’s asking? I don’t have freckles in the classical sense of being freckle-faced. I have a freckle here, a mole there, &c… I have freckles on my shoulders…
9. Do you always smile for pictures? I try to avoid pictures whenever possible, but when someone insists in pointing a camera at my face, yes, I smile.
10. What is your biggest pet peeve? People who have pet peeves should stop feeding their pets and set them free. They’ll find their lives to be much less complicated.
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I tried that once or twice. I lost interest very quickly. I even bought a pedometer once. You know what happens with a pedometer? if you jiggle in any sort of way, it counts those as “steps” too. Yeah, not interested.
12. Have you ever peed in the woods? Where else are you supposed to go to the bathroom when you’re in the woods?
13. Have you ever pooped in the woods? See the above question.
14. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? I have plenty of songs in my head to dance to… I don’t need no stinking music. So yes, I dance when there’s no music playing.
15. Do you chew on your pencils and pens? A-yep. Keeps my teeth sharp. ^_^
How many people have you slept with this week? What kind of weird question is that? I mean if this is a “one size fits all” questionnaire this is a stupid question to have on there. There will be married people answering this thing, and virgins, and people in committed relationships that aren’t marriages. Dumb questions don’t get answered. Next question.
Why size is your bed? Who wants to know?
18. What is your song of the week? Is this a thing? If it is, then it’s a thing I don’t do.
19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Why wouldn’t it be? I know some guys who rock the pink like it ain’t no thang. Because really… it ain’t no thang. Pink is just a color. It has no gender. Less than 100 years ago, it used to be assigned to boy babies rather than girl babies (girls got blue). This whole “pink is for girls” is a relatively new thing. I mean all children used to wear dress-like clothing or short pants until a certain age then they wore long pants and long skirts respectively.
So honestly, it’s all about social norms and mores. Anyone can wear pink, or plaid, or purple, or green. Who cares what color someone’s wearing? Rock the pink if you want to, so long as it doesn’t make you look like you’re dying of pneumonia (which is what pink makes me look like because it doesn’t match my skin tone). Gender aside, it’s just a color. And anyone who thinks differently is just… wrong.
20. Do you still watch cartoons? Yes. And I don’t have small children at home. You got a problem with that?
What is your least favorite movie? Just as bad as asking what my favorite movie is.
22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? In the ground. Maybe.
23. What do you drink with dinner? Mostly coffee, sometimes tea.
24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Nuthin’. I don’t really use dips. I like the taste of my food, thanks much. I don’t like drowning it in condiments. I’m not as snooty as that sounds, and I will use some condiments, but as a general rule, I don’t. And I do eat my chicken nuggets plain. Always. I blame this guy from my childhood:
Seriously, I was an impressionable kid when I saw this over and over again on Saturday mornings, and I finally decided to try my fries without the condiments and, wow, they tasted good! They taste good with ketchup too (and ketchup mixed with mayo, yum!) but they also taste very good plain, which is how I usually eat them.
What is your favorite food? Dumb and oft asked questions don’t get answered.
26. What movies could you watch over and over again and still love? Most of them.
27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? Does my dog count? No, it says “person”. Well that would be the hubs then.
28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? We made it as far as brownie scouts, then my mom decided that this whole “scout” business was costing her too much time and money and we weren’t allowed to do it anymore.
29. Would you ever strip, or pose nude in a magazine? Sure, why not? I ain’t got nuthin’ to hide. I think we are way too prudish in this world. I’m not saying I’d walk down the street in all my glory, but whatever… I’ve gone skinny dipping, shared a hot spring with other naked people, been to a nude beach. Why not pose nude? I wouldn’t strip though, I don’t have the moves, and I get stage fright. Ha!
30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Within the last year. I can’t remember exactly when.
31. Can you change the oil in a car? In a heartbeat. Okay… I know how. I’ve done it in the past. Numerous times even. But I dunno if my body will let me do it anymore. Plus with the new cars these days and all of the electronics that are covering the engines, I’m not sure if I can reach the places I need to reach like I used to. So, technically, I know how, and I might could be able to do it again.
32. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Once or twice when I was learning how to drive.
33. Have you ever run out of gas? Not once, ever have I run out of gas. I’m paranoid about running out of gas (too many horror movies as a kid) I fill that bad boy up as soon as it gets to 1/4 of a tank. Thank goodness for 24 hour gas stations these days. The dangers of running out of gas are nearly non-existent.
What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? “Favorite” questions are boring and don’t get answered.
35. What’s the best thing to eat for breakfast? Food.
36. What is your usual bedtime? Between midnight and midnight thirty. Though I do occasionally stay up until one am.
37. Are you lazy? There is a bad kind of lazy, which is to not do any work at all, or to get away with doing as little work as possible. I’m not that kind of lazy. I hate not having anything to do. It drives me crazy. But I am the epitome of lazy, in that I will do everything I can to conserve my energy when I’m working because I don’t feel the need to tire myself out for no particular reason other than someone asked me to (or is paying me to — depending on the asker/and how much I’m getting paid). I will do the work I am supposed to do, but as Bill Gates said, I will find the fastest, most efficient way to do that job possible. And if there is no fast and/or efficient way to do a job, then I’ll still get the job done, but I won’t be happy about it.
That’s one of the reasons why I didn’t do well in some jobs, because they were so entrenched in how things were done — “We’ve always done it this way.” that they couldn’t see how inefficient their way of doing things was.
38. When you were a kid, what did you dress for on Halloween? That’s a silly question. Think about that. If I start from when I was five all the way to when age sixteen (when you stop being a “kid”) that’s eleven years of dressing up. Which costume did you want me to remember? Because I hardly dressed up as the same thing every year. Also, i so didn’t stop dressing up for Halloween when I stopped being a kid. Because it’s not a kid’s holiday. It’s a perfectly legitimate adult holiday, and not every adult female dresses up as a “naughty” whatever and gets drunk. Some of us actually enjoy this holiday as for what it is (the American Day of the Dead) and celebrate it as such. We enjoy elaborate costumes, gathering together with our friends and having a good time. So… yeah… not just a kid’s holiday.
39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? I was born in the year of the Horse
40. How many languages can you speak? One fluently. Unless you count dialects, then I am versed in the Southern dialect of the United States as well as African American English
That’s right… I speak “Jive”
Just kidding! But seriously, we spent a good portions of our childhood growing up in a predominately black neighborhood so we spoke what’s called “African American English” or “African American Vernacular English” or just “Black English”. That’s why y’all will see things like ‘it ain’t no thang’ pop up in my posts all the time. They’re throwbacks from my childhood and the 1980’s when my speech patterns were being cemented. And I spent a lot of my adult life in the Southern United States, which is where I picked up a lot of the Southern Dialect.
But, for the most part, I speak Standard American English. I know a few phrases of French and a smattering of Spanish, and the greetings in a couple of more languages, but that’s about it.
41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Not anymore.
42. Which are better: Legos® or Lincoln Logs®? Legos are better for building intricate things, but Lincoln Logs are more aesthetically pleasing.
43. Are you stubborn? I’m pretty easy going for the most part. And I can usually admit when I’m wrong. But I’m immovable when it comes to some things.
44. Who is better, Leno or Letterman? I don’t watch late night television.
45. Do you ever watch Soap Operas? One day, in late January, 1986, I was about 19 years old. I was a young mother of two. My husband was out to sea. Anyway, I was watching my soap operas, and a news story came on the air. The Challenger had exploded moments after take off, killing everyone on board. How sad. I watched and cried with everyone else because it was genuinely a sad thing.
But then they kept showing it. Again and again. And these news stories were interrupting my soap operas, the thing I looked forward to every day. I’d turn them on at 10am and watch each one faithfully until they went off the air at around 3:30pm… starting with Ryan’s Hope IIRC and ending with whatever aired after General Hospital (it’s been a long time, and that slot has seen many soaps come and go). I lived and died by these soap operas. I knew what time it was by what was on the television, and why was the news station constantly interrupting my day with these updates that weren’t really showing us anything new??? I watched these things to escape reality, not be confronted by it every fifteen minutes. Then they just stopped interrupting and started showing footage constantly and I got very angry about that. I mean irrationally so.
It was about then that I realized my priorities probably weren’t in the right order and that soap operas shouldn’t be dominating my day like that. I turned off the television and never turned it back on again (in the daytime… I still watch television. I just don’t watch soaps).
46. Are you afraid of heights? Not really, I’m just afraid of falling from great heights. But that doesn’t keep me from going on anything that’s high.
47. Do you sing in the car? All of the time.
48. Do you sing in the shower? Not so much. I’m too busy getting clean to do any singing.
49. Do you dance in the car? Not particularly, but when the mood takes me, I’ve been known to bust a move in the car.
50. Have you ever used a gun? I’ve shot at targets, but that’s about it. I won’t even go there because it’s a very touchy subject for me and I’ll end up ranting for days.
51. When was the last time you had your portrait taken by a professional photographer? I don’t even remember.
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Define “cheesy”. I like musicals. Musicals are a part of my life. I don’t think a year goes by that I haven’t seen at least one musical. And even if they are cheesy, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Some people like cheesy.
53. Is Christmas stressful? Christmas is a day like any other. I’m not Christian, so Christmas has little meaning to me. The only thing stressful about Christmas is how it literally takes over everything three months before it actually happens. Yeah, that’s stressful to me. It’s mind blowing to me how many people there are in this world who cannot wrap their head around the idea that I and millions of others in the world don’t celebrate Christmas and we really don’t like it shoved down our throats for a quarter of the year. It’s just not a concept they can grasp. But other than that, Christmas is a day like any other, except the hubs gets a day off.
54. Have you ever eaten Pierogi? How is this even a question? Is Pierogi an exotic food that people have never heard of? I mean, even if you’ve never had it by that name, unleavened bread wrapped around a savory filling is pretty universal, isn’t it? Yes, I’ve eaten Pierogi, by that name and the equivalent of other cultures. And it was good.
What is your favorite type of fruit pie? “Favorite” questions are boring and don’t get answered.
56. What occupations did you want to be when you were a kid? I wanted to be a drifter. I pretty much became one. But as with all things, I became my own kind of drifter. It worked out for a long time, but now I’ve met the man of my dreams and I’m settling down to my my other childhood dream — a small scale farmer. Ha! How’s that for a dichotomy?
57. Do you believe in ghosts? I’ve never actually seen a ghost… well… it’s difficult to explain. But I’ve seen some weird stuff that can’t be easily explained away by “science” and as Shakespeare said, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” – Hamlet (1.5.167-8)
So the answer is, as in all things. I don’t disbelieve in them, but I haven’t actually seen one for myself, so I believe that they are possible.
58. Do you ever have that déjà vu feeling? All the time. I also get the opposite feeling which is called jamais vu. That would be like if you walk into a familiar room, say your living room which you walk into every day and look around and get the sense that you’re in a strange house and you’ve never seen that room before. Or you look at your child or your husband, whom you see every day and get the sense that they are a complete stranger. It’s a strange sensation, and I get both all of the time.
59. Do you take a vitamin daily? Nope, studies prove that it really doesn’t do you any good, or, as this article says “the jury is still out”. And most “vitamins” on the market in the United States aren’t regulated so they might not even have what’s on their label. I think they’re a scam. You should get your vitamins from your food and the sun.
60. Do you wear slippers? I have some comfy, furry slippers that I wear all of the time because it’s freaking cold up here. But I also go barefoot a lot. I like slippers, I’ve always worn them.
61. Do you wear a bath robe? Yep, a big, comfy terry cloth robe that looks like a monk’s robe with a belt (see picture). It was hard to find too, because people don’t sell freaking robes for women in this country, they sell little slips of fabric with ties. I went to five different stores and all I could find were slippery things… that serves, I dunno what purpose, but it wasn’t warmth, I can tell you that. I had to go online, and even then it was a search…
Plus, I had to buy the men’s robe because at the time I was looking I couldn’t find a woman’s robe with pockets. Who has a robe without pockets? And they didn’t sell them in a ankle length for women when I was looking, only mid-thigh and mid-calf. I wanted a full length robe for a reason. So I got one just like the one in the picture. And it’s huge and comfy and warm. I love it. I’m using it as a lap rug as I type this out.
62. What do you wear to bed? Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day, but if that’s not a comfortable shirt, then I have nightgowns for bed.
63. What was your first concert? Quarterflash. Outside. At the county fair in California. I was a teenager.
Wal-Mart, Target, or Kmart? What are you trying to ask? Do I shop at these? Which do I prefer? Which one is better for what? Just throwing words together with an “or” in the middle and a question mark on the end doesn’t make it question. And even if I answer the implied “which do you prefer?” it’s BORING because the answer is one word. And these are lazy (and common) questions not questions that “nobody” asks.
Nike or Adidas? see previous question
Cheetos or Fitos? Refer to question 64
Peanuts or sunflower seeds? Lazy questions don’t get answered
68. Have you ever heard of the group Tres Bien? Nope, and judging from the lack of Google hits, neither have a lot of other people.
69. Have you ever taken dance lessons? Many times. I took ballet when I was a kid (which helped me big time when my back went out on me because I already knew how to bend from the hips and knees). I’ve also taken (and taught) lessons in country line dancing, square dancing, and couple dancing for country music. I used to be a big country music fan.
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? My future spouse???
71. Can you curl your tongue? Yep. But that’s not an accomplishment, it’s a genetic predisposition.
72. Have you ever won a spelling bee? You have to have ever been in a spelling be to have won one, so the answer would be a big, fat, nope.
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? I don’t know anyone over the age of 16 who hasn’t, at least once.
74. Do you own any record albums? Not anymore.
75. Do you own a record player? Not anymore.
76. Do you regularly burn incense? Not anymore.
Have you ever been in love? Dumb and commonly asked questions don’t get answered.
Who would you like to see in concert? No one. I don’t like going to concerts. Whenever I attend a concert, or any public event that’s in a packed space, I’ve found people in general to be rude, loud, and obnoxious. They have no sense of personal space and I end up hating everyone and life in general because of the rudeness of the people around me. It’s not an enjoyable experience for me.
79. What was the last concert you saw? I believe it was Garth Brooks. A friend of mine bought me tickets as a birthday present. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve been to a concert since he’s been retired for over a decade I think.
80. Hot tea or cold tea? Boring… but… it’s Iced (not cold) tea. Cold tea is just… weird.
Tea or coffee? Again, boring, and again one of the most commonly asked preferences of all time.
82. Sugar cookies or Snickerdoodles? Seriously, are y’all even trying to ask questions anymore? “This or that” is lazy! And not the good kind of lazy. It’s not even trying lazy. And it’s certainly one of the most common types of “questions” people ask in these lists! So far there have been seven (my last count) in this list of questions “nobody” asks. Pardon me while I roll my eyes.
83. Can you swim well? I used to be able to. Now I think I might could keep my head above water and not drown.
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Is that a difficult thing to do? I’ve never found it to be so.
85. Are you patient? I’m as patient as the day is long… but have you ever noticed how short some day are given the circumstances? I get irritated easily and it shows, but as for losing my temper completely? That takes a lot.
DJ or a band at a wedding? Ugh! Does it matter?
87. Have you ever won a contest? Sure, once or twice. Luck of the draw.
88. Have you ever had plastic surgery? I would have it done for health reasons, but yeah… I can’t afford it.
89. Which are better: black olives or green olives? I suppose that’s better than “Black or green olives?” but still… better for what? Better for making olive oil? Better in salads? better on pizza? Better for eating by themselves? Each has their own uses, and neither is “better” than the other on its own.
90. Can you knit or crochet? Yes. I can do both. I don’t have a preference. I learned to knit first, then crochet. I crocheted for years because it was easier, faster, and used less yarn. Then after the kids were grown and gone, I learned to knit again. Now I do both.
91. Which is the best room for a fireplace? Any room is a good room for a fireplace. Let me rephrase that. I would have a fireplace in every room in my house if I could afford it.
Do you want to get married? Dumb and common questions don’t get answered.
If married, how long have you been married? Dumb and common questions don’t get answered.
Who was your high school crush? You wouldn’t know him
95. Do you cry and/or throw a fit to get your own way? What am I, five? Any adult who does this not only doesn’t deserve to “get their own way” but should be tossed in jail overnight for being a public nuisance. That’s my own personal opinion.
Do you have kids? Boring question
Do you want kids? Yawn
What is your favorite color? Are you sure no one EVER asks this question? Like EVER? Because that’s like the most commonly asked question IN THE WORLD.
99. Do you miss anyone right now? No.
Who are you going to tag to do this questionnaire next? Again, commonly asked and not relevant to me.
So there y’all have it. Most of them not so commonly asked, but towards the end there, they ran out of steam. I suppose they should have cut their losses at fifty when they were still in the less than commonly asked question and didn’t get into the “this or that” stage of the game, which is boring and lazy. Hope you made it all the way to the end. I know it was an interesting ride for me. 🙂