daily prompt

Just Breathe

Night-Mare

Nightmare.

So, today’s daily prompt is panic, which is interesting because I’ve had a few panic-like moments these past years and as anyone who reads this blog for any amount of time might know, I’ve had difficulties with my breathing. More than one doctor thinks that the breathing difficulties might be panic attacks, and while I’ll admit that some of the episodes may very well be panic attacks, I don’t think that all of them are, because not all of them are the same. I mean, I get headaches, and I get migraines, but not all of my headaches are migraines.  It’s the same thing. I have asthma, and not all of my breathing difficulties are asthma related. But it’s sometimes hard to explain that to doctors who only have about 15 minutes to listen to me. You know?

Anyway, I want to say this is a new thing, but I think it’s been going on for a while now that I think about it, because I remember it happening when I was in college too. It’s just kind of more frequent now? I guess? But over the last six months or so, I’ve been waking up… not breathing. Like it will invade my dreams and I’ll be dreaming that I can’t breathe, like I’m drowning, or someone’s trying to smother me or something along those lines and I wake up gasping for breath and usually my extremities are numb and tingling (a sure sign of no air).  Panic ensues for a brief moment until I assure myself that I’m alive and well, then I go back to sleep. But these episodes are worrying so I’m getting a sleep study done, and I have an appointment with a pulmonologist soon.

So I panic in my sleep, but I do okay when I’m awake. For the most part. ^_^ I still have troubles going out into the really real world because I’m concerned about having an attack in public, but I’m working on it. Baby steps. Having a panic attack about panic attacks is a vicious cycle that I really don’t want to start.

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9 thoughts on “Just Breathe

  1. It’s the fact that you don’t know when the next one is coming.. for me it was learning to remain calm.. and sometimes I still find myself getting panicky.. I just remind myself it will pass.. I know it can be hard.. but stay strong..

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    • That’s the thing though, I don’t feel particularly anxious when these are going on… except when I wake up in a panic… and then I just roll over and go back to sleep. Every other time, it’s just me suddenly not being able to breathe for no particular reason. I’m perfectly calm. So remaining calm isn’t an issue, I tried to tell my doctor that but she insists that they’re still panic attacks. But thanks for the advice and thank you for stopping by. 🙂

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    • Nah, I stopped using candles a long time ago, and I make my own laundry soap using Ivory soap. I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to the furbabies, and everything that grows from the ground, but I’m not getting rid of my pets, and I can’t help what grows from the ground, and I’m not completely rearranging my house to be “sterile” so I can breathe because that’s just not in me to do.

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  2. It sounds like breathing apnea. It’s common enough that I’m surprised you haven’t been sent for a (completely worthless, but mandatory) sleep study. I have a mild case of it, but mild enough to not treat it. Some people have it really badly — my son has to wear a cpap at night.

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  3. Not all panic attacks are the same and often they hit during the ‘calm’. Half the battle is recognizing what they are when they are happening….knowledge is power:-).

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    • No, I understand that. I also know what an asthma attack feels like too. Which is why I’m saying that not every breathing episode is a panic attack. I’ve had asthma for a while now, and sometimes it’s just asthma (which isn’t to be taken lightly either). As I said, I get headaches and I also get migraines. Not every headaches is a migraine… You know?

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