So, today’s daily prompt is panic, which is interesting because I’ve had a few panic-like moments these past years and as anyone who reads this blog for any amount of time might know, I’ve had difficulties with my breathing. More than one doctor thinks that the breathing difficulties might be panic attacks, and while I’ll admit that some of the episodes may very well be panic attacks, I don’t think that all of them are, because not all of them are the same. I mean, I get headaches, and I get migraines, but not all of my headaches are migraines. It’s the same thing. I have asthma, and not all of my breathing difficulties are asthma related. But it’s sometimes hard to explain that to doctors who only have about 15 minutes to listen to me. You know?
Anyway, I want to say this is a new thing, but I think it’s been going on for a while now that I think about it, because I remember it happening when I was in college too. It’s just kind of more frequent now? I guess? But over the last six months or so, I’ve been waking up… not breathing. Like it will invade my dreams and I’ll be dreaming that I can’t breathe, like I’m drowning, or someone’s trying to smother me or something along those lines and I wake up gasping for breath and usually my extremities are numb and tingling (a sure sign of no air). Panic ensues for a brief moment until I assure myself that I’m alive and well, then I go back to sleep. But these episodes are worrying so I’m getting a sleep study done, and I have an appointment with a pulmonologist soon.
So I panic in my sleep, but I do okay when I’m awake. For the most part. ^_^ I still have troubles going out into the really real world because I’m concerned about having an attack in public, but I’m working on it. Baby steps. Having a panic attack about panic attacks is a vicious cycle that I really don’t want to start.