Hmmm. Squat. What a weird word. It sounds strange coming off the tongue, doesn’t it? Squat. Almost like an onomatopoeia. Anyway, squatting has been kind of a goal of mine for many years now. I know it sounds strange, but hear me out.
See, it’s like one of the most natural positions in the world. I mean, as soon a toddlers figure out how to walk, and they want something off of the floor, what do they do? They don’t bend at the hips to get it, they squat. And they keep squatting well into their childhood until, I dunno when the cutoff point is, but somewhere in there, the squatting stops and the bending begins. At least that’s how it works in the Western world. I used to think that’s how it worked everywhere until I started reading manga and watching anime and then I watched foreign movies, and hey, guess what? In a lot of other countries, adults squat just as naturally as babies. Whenever they want to talk privately or have a cozy chat, they hunker down into a squatting position and it’s as easy as breathing for them. When I saw that, I was all, Why can’t I do that? and, Why don’t we do that here in the States? I mean, it’s way easier than trying to find a place to sit, and it’s way better than sitting on the ground. We must have done this at some point, because it’s still in the language. I mean, whenever we had company as a kid, my dad would tell them to come in and “cop a squat” (have a seat). I also have a dear friend of mine who “sits” this way whenever we would go and talk outside. She’s born and raised American — a true Southern Belle, so it’s not that the art is lost everywhere. I just don’t see it everywhere. I know I, personally, cannot squat to save my life. Okay, maybe… once… if my life depended on it… but that’s it. I’ve been working on it.
Why? Well, I guess I’m envious of people who can move that easily. I used to be able to move with relative ease, and I just can’t anymore, and I want to again. I really do. Of course, my body has other ideas… But I guess I have it in my mind that if I can go down into the squatting position and get up without assistance, I can rule the world! Bwhahahahahaha! (mine is an evil laugh) Just kidding. But I figure if I can master that, it’ll make my life just a little easier. Also, it’s supposed to help with digestion, which I can dig. I did buy this thing called a Squatty Potty (pictured) about two or three years ago — actually I bought a knock off — and it has helped so much with my IBS-C. Who knew? It hasn’t cured it by a long shot, but my two hour long trips to the reading room are a thing of the past. If nothing else, I’m glad about that. The bad thing is, now I have difficulties using the commode without it. Like if I’m visiting relatives out of town. I wonder if they have a portable version? 🙂