daily stuffs / health stuff / rambling

Something interesting (to me)

So, this little comic strip came across my Facebook the other day (yes, I fixed it). And it’s funny. But what I found interesting are the comments in relation to an innocently asked question.

period

So glad I don’t suffer these anymore.

So anyway, there followed a conversation in the comments that I totally related to for two reasons. One — been there, done that, saw the movie, bought the t-shirt, and two, it’s still happening, and we’re backsliding instead of moving forward.  Here are three screenshots of the first few comments (there are hundreds) so you can get a gist  of the conversation.

sarah's scribbles 1

sarah's scribbles 2

sarah's scribbles 3

it goes on and on,  the page is listed up there…

So I can relate to this because after two two kids, I was all, “Yeah, I think that’s enough.” but the doctors wouldn’t let me get my tubes tied because I was only 19. One kid and one miscarriage later, I was all, “Really, I’m at my wit’s end here…” and they were all, “You’ll change your mind later.”  Because I was only 20.  One more kid and one more miscarriage later, my body was shot.  I mean six pregnancies in five years — 1984 to 1989 — first kid was born April 1985, last was born November 1989, one live birth, three C-sections, and two miscarriages. That will take its toll on a body.

When I had my final C-section, the doctor said that she not only tied my tubes but cut them to bits, cauterized them and made sure there was no chance they would grow together ever again. She said that if I ever got pregnant, I was more than welcome to sue her to hell and back again. She never wanted me to ever bear a child again. Ever.  But here’s the funny part. Even after I had my tubes tied, it wasn’t until I developed full on endometriosis and was nearing 40 that I was able to get that plumbing mostly removed. Because seriously, that shit (the endometriosis) hurt. A lot.

snippedDo I regret my last two kids? Not a chance. I love them to bits. Who knows what my life would be like without them. They are a part of my life and I don’t regret a moment of it with them in it. I do however, resent the fact that others made this decision for me. I had no choice in the matter at all. And I do resent that my husband, at any time during this period, could have walked into any doctor’s office and gotten a vasectomy without anyone batting an eye. No one would have told him “You’re too young to have this.” They wouldn’t have asked for my permission. Nope, he could have gone in, got snipped, and walked out, and I would have been none the wiser (except for the ice pack on his family jewels). How do I know this? Because several friends of mine experienced it.  Women left and right being denied their decision to not have any more kids, but their husbands just walk in and get vasectomies — some without their wife’s knowledge or approval. What’s wrong with this picture?

foodmaybe

I’ll stick with furbabies from now on.

Anyway, the conversation in the comments was interesting, and relevant to today’s political picture. It’s not just about women’s rights to chose when it comes to abortion… it comes down to women’s rights in everything. We’re not incubators. We’re living, breathing, thinking human beings. And people of all genders need to recognize that.  It’s not our job as females to populate the Earth. We’re not obligated to have children. Each and every one of us should be given a choice in this matter. Men too.  I have four adult children. Only one has children of their own. As far as I know, two of them don’t want children. That’s fine by me. It wouldn’t matter to me if I never have any other grandchildren, because I don’t want to push that obligation onto my kids. It’s their right to chose to not procreate. I’m not a millionaire. I have no family name to carry on. And it’s not as though we’re going to die off as a race any time soon. There are more than 7 billion people on the planet right now. I think we’ve done a good job with the procreation bit. We have the luxury to chose not to.

So anyway, if y’all are curious, visit the webcomic on Facebook and read the comments. They’re very civil, and it might open some eyes.

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4 thoughts on “Something interesting (to me)

  1. The only thing I’d say in response to the 20 somethings ‘wishing for menopause’ is that they could HAVE it…. night sweats, hot flashes, moody to the point of psychotic sometimes, angry, and my body dried up. Seriously. I lost my hair and what’s left is dry and brittle (despite expensive treatments and shampoos to moisturize it), developed rosacea and glaucoma (ultra dry skin; glaucoma is the gradual drying up with increased pressure in your eyeballs). I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. And it’s not the same for all women no. But I’m on board about the my body, my decision argument. I didn’t want kids (and it turned out I couldn’t have them) but my husband went and got the snip just before our wedding (literally days before) so there were no “accidents.” It was the start of the debacle our marriage turned out to be – secrets and lies and bullshit. If some asshole of a MALE physician (or female for that matter) had ever tried to tell me “Oh you’re YOUNG, you aren’t allowed to speak for yourself on the matter of having children” I hope to think they’d have lost a patient and gotten a lawsuit for discrimination. What is it anyway? 1817?

    Like

  2. For the little that it’s worth, they won’t give a man a vasectomy at that age either, for the same reason. My theory? If you live to regret it, you live to regret it. You’re a grownup. Why is it anyone else’s business?

    Liked by 1 person

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